i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I had to cum in my sink.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
