I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize