I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so let's talk penis.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize