I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
