I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
