I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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