I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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