Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
