Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
