I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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