i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize