Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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