things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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