I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize