He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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