...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
