Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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