turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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