there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
