I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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