Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
