Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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