What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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