Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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