How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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