She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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