I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
