none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
