Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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