Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
