So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
