my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
