we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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