from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
