Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

I think I can smell my own vagina right now

Fav 126 1601 23117
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

Fav 18 4523 1253
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

Fav 14 4517 1229
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

Fav 28 6833 1698
share tweet
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

Fav 7 1565 1024
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!

(410): View more from Maryland

dude. im stealing that.

Fav 12 3865 1269
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card

Fav 29 3854 1523
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.

Fav 4 968 476
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?

Fav 0 7 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT