I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand