I wanna bring you to show and tell
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch