You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me