Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Welp...herpes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
