How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
