my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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