i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
