Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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(213): View more from California

I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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(952): View more from Minnesota

he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest

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(619): View more from California

i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am

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