turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
as a side note pls kill me