I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.