I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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