peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am