You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.