You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr