Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1612) Bad night (4929)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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  (416): Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her. http://tfl.nu/nm33
  Replies (10) Good night (1007) Bad night (3070)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.

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  (401): he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/e3p6
  Replies (36) Good night (965) Bad night (5012)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

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  (303): friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension http://tfl.nu/bl0j
  Replies (46) Good night (1718) Bad night (5177)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

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  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
  Replies (20) Good night (1391) Bad night (2982)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.

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  (386): Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here. http://tfl.nu/vy2d
  Replies (6) Good night (1960) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.

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  (832): Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome. http://tfl.nu/ycrs
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (1237)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??

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  (785): Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail?? http://tfl.nu/azi4
  Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (855)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall

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  (432): If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall http://tfl.nu/47u9
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (933)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?

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  (404): Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture? http://tfl.nu/tx1u
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (918)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (431)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."

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  (630): Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick." http://tfl.nu/sgnz
  Replies (13) Good night (790) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first

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  (613): I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first http://tfl.nu/99uo
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.

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  (804): the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots. http://tfl.nu/qdeq
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.

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  (508): It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical. http://tfl.nu/soip
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (208)

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