Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...