We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?