it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
