I smell stomach acid.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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