i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
