did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
