Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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