Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
BRING THE BAGELS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
