At least make sure they are 18
Why
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
