Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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