glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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