Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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