I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
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I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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