They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
