i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
