If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
