i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
