hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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