theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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