Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize