it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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