everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
