is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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