How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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