she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
