Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
