Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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