I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
