is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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