i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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