i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
