my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize